One Year...

My day today can pretty much be summed up with Tyler's crash video. Yep, it sucked. The f-bomb laid flat out. I still love what I do, but damn. I am in serious need of these next couple days away. When things that just normally don't even phase me, suddenly are eating away at me, it's time to step away a bit. Sadly, it's now after 12 am and I'm still looking at work stuff. Why I care so much is often a good trait and really is who I am, but at times like these, I just need to learn to say, I'm leaving - see you all in a few days. We all know me though, and I just don't do that, so onward to wrap things up.

The enjoyable parts of a crap day were reading Will's blog entitled The Squatter. I'm sure it was meant to be simple but the link in the comments put it right over the top. Between Will and Mike's swim class entry, the laughs have been had lately. Thank you both and enjoy the goodies! It's the least in terms of thanks that I can do for you making shit days so much brighter! And the laughs, well I'm still cracking up.

Today was stress and tension filled. Things have been on my mind lately pretty heavily and added to the menatl stress was the fact that today marked one year. I've been told for every 5 years of marriage, it takes 1 year to gather up and get going again. With that, I still have another year to go and honestly, I just don't feel like giving it that long. The last two plus years were hell enough so let's get going shall we?!?

I made decisions that felt impossible and most certianly weigh heavily still to this day. I gave everything - and then some - and it wasn't enough. For me, who believes you should give everything, to have the nightmares lived and sleep lost, it hasn't been easy. But I'm pretty happy about things to come. Since the accident, working out has helped ease the mind. Hell, I've been out for a bike ride already and that is just not typical me. But I'm loving it. I've got great motivation following the guys on Slipstream and the humor they bring into the day, just priceless!

I also have pretty damn amazing friends who held back words when they certainly would've been justified at times and sat close while the tears fell. So thank you. You know exactly who you are and with out you I wouldn't be where I am today. Smiling, laughing, working out, enjoying possibilities. It's been emotionally a killer time but yet at that same time, in a character building year, a good thing. I'll be trying to repay the debt owed to you guys for helping me get through it for a lifetime. But for now, I hope you know just how meaningful this simple thank you is. It's not enough but it's filled with so much more that I just can't put into words. You're amazing and I hope I'm there for you like you've been here for me!! Love yous!!!